Sunday, March 26, 2006
Breaking the Cocoon's Shell
Mood:
I have been living in this nutshell for how many years and I must break this sooner or later. I have been suffering from this hatred that runs through my veins for my whole lifetime and yet it needs to be removed...
She has been active again recently, telling off about her newly installed DSL connection. Yeah, I mean the Childish Brat that I have mentioned in the past post. It got me irritated, I don't know why. I have this certain feeling of calmness and yet the essence of my retribution is still there. I cannot even understand myself anymore... It's just my will of revenge, nothing more.
It seems it is uncontrollable, but I must work on this. Shawn pinpointed on me that that's a thing of the past and I have to move on with it. Nash told me that the origin of my misery is my own selfishness and I must remove this thoroughly. Plus I have to be happy about the simplest of pleasures life has given to me, to work without anything to expect in return. I cannot fully understand this until she told me about the laws of Karma. As a non-believer of the word 'destiny' I often associated it with Karma, because I am a skeptic but hey, it seems to work on my way recently. I must learn to forget my skepticism, maybe a half of it. I have always asking for the truth and evidence. And also I never survive the day Morbid put up a sermon on me. How loving he was. He pointed out the things I must do: Stay calm, keep cool and do things sincerely. Yeah, I find it real hard to move out from the shell of hatred this life has given me, and hopefully I could get over with the past. What matters more for them is to me to think for what the hell is going on today. It is really difficult... getting over. Still I am on the stage of recovery.
Last Sabbath, I was invited to join with Louis or Shockwave in his place. Many of us was able to make it. We should be doing the swimming in Noey's place but it was all of the sudden that her parents cannot agree with. I met new people, or let just say the most of the Drummania addicts at the other side of Gamer Clan. The most annoying yet happy to be with guy is Andrew, also a famous guy inside the Forums. We have enjoyed the night swimming. The problem is we don't have any food or drinks (man, we love to get drunk....), unfortunately we are out of budget, what we can only afford is to buy food and stuffs.
The worst case scenario happened. There were another set of companies aside from us which was Louis' classmates. They were all drunk and someone lost his cell phone. And we heard that some of them put the blame upon us. Fuck, like we have of intention of doing it. And one of them even threatens us with such provoking words. Keeping in mind that those guys are conios and they might bring back guns and rest backs, we still want to remain just to show them that the accusations were wrong. Karl suggested the right move to call an elder so Louis calls his mom and investigated us. She told us to find the lost phone and ordered us to leave ASAP. We even have our bags checked. But in my opinion, no one of us would take other's belongings. This was the other side's fault, not ours. Why would someone leave a precious accessory at such place?
Sermons and more sermons. I have learned that I cannot trust anyone anymore... especially a person that you have trusted so much have an intention of hurting you just to build a perfect godlike being. Am I intended to be a GOD? I don't understand, Nash told me that I am almost perfect, duh... but to hell with it. Maybe I am a better Jesus Christ after all. I should admit I am supposed to be a god. Equal trade: My past and my trust for a new me. There goes my tripping... from Jen Shinrai. How to make a Tainted Purple Cock-tail. How to make a Tainted Purple Ingredients:
1 part competetiveness
5 parts courage
5 parts joyMethod:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little curiosity if desired!
Starting next week, I'll be living with Shiela near Nash's. So you cannot contact me at home. Anyways there is my cellular to get connected with.
11:57 PM ...another day has ended.
Name: Fuketsu Murasaki
Alias: Tainted Purple, TP, Satanic Priestess, Maki, Pendrille Walpurgis de Faux
Age: 23 and rising
Birthdate: 101084
Religion: Ideal Christianity
Nationality: None Specified
Description: Visual Artist, CG Artist, Song Writer, Musician, Novelist. Psychotic, Sarcastic, Ego Tripping, Temperemental, Foolish, Wants to rule the World.
Horror, Scifi, Adventure movies; Sour, Sweet foods. Arcade Simulation and Online gaming. Artworks. Kind, Understanding people.
Annoying, Arrogant, Selfish, Sinister, Numb, Unfaithful jerks.
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